Recently a parent of a 7-month-old son surprised me with her interpretation of all the recent news on Dr. Richard Ferber and his new book due out this spring. A few months ago she and her husband successfully taught their son to go to sleep on his own (she previously had to nurse him to sleep each time). I provided moral and professional support through the process, which did involve some tears on everyone’s part. Their son did really well with the night sleep and after some time adjusted to a healthy daytime sleep routine.

When speaking the other day she asked, “Can you believe Ferber has completely gone back on his methods? I feel so guilty now!” She was of course referring to the recent reports that famed sleep expert, Dr. Richard Ferber, has revised his best selling book, “Solve Your Child’s Sleep Problems”.

(SEE http://www.post-gazette.com/pg/05319/606752.stm for the complete WallStreet Journal article)

Most people now know his method simply as “Ferberizing”, a system whereby parents are instructed to leave the child alone in a crib for gradually longer periods of time (checking on him at each interval but not picking them up) until the baby falls asleep on his own.

This mother’s assertion that Ferber has changed his mind completely is incorrect. I have heard this from many other parents as well. To clarify, Ferber has said that he was “misunderstood” and never intended the advice to fix all childhood sleep problems. He will elaborate on some other solutions in his revised book. However, Ferber has NOT said that he is “going back” on his previously advised methods.

As many of you already know, the world of childhood sleep problems, advice, methods, and philosophies is muttled with drastically varying views. I found it striking that this mom who has enjoyed great success with a “Ferber-like” method immediately abandoned her success and felt guilty for allowing her son to cry in the process. I agree with Ferber’s most recent assertions that there is no “one way” for all children. EVERY child is unique and parents ultimately need to choose an approach they feel comfortable with, listen to their intuition, and remain consistent.

As parents we should not feel guilty for teaching our children healthy sleep habits. So much of their development, health and behavior is dependent on adequate sleep. I look forward to reading Dr. Ferber’s newest edition this Spring and for the many critics to realize he hasn’t abandoned a successful sleep training method, he has just acknowledged what many of us already believe – each child deserve to be looked at as individuals with unique personalities, temperaments and needs. A lesson parents will need to remember whether they are dealing with their child’s sleep, academic career, relationships or behavior issues.

Happy, Guilt-Free Sleeping! – Shannon Kalisher